This mess is mine


I’ve been re-reading “On Photography” by Susan Sontag. In part because it’s one of my favorite books and in part because it helps me understand my nature. I’ve struggled for years with being too controlling, too demanding, and too full of words with raw honesty. I am only now, in my early thirties realizing how to harness this and accept it as a part of my strength. My intentions are good, but my patience for anything that doesn’t feed my soul in a positive manner is too thin to even articulate.

Involving photography in my world was natural in the sense that I am in control, I can be demanding, and I can use my words as freely as I need to because ultimately the photograph is the end result of those words.

It’s been interesting to me over the years to examine other photographers and see if there are similar traits and uncover a reasoning in it all.

I have found more times than not photographers are quite different than other artists in that they tend to be more controlling overall (I don’t mean this negatively, it’s ok to be in control). Framing a photograph requires an eye for perfection. I don’t mean perfection in the typical sense of no hair out of place, but perfection in how we want to photograph this moment.

I will construct settings, move body parts to ensure a leg is covering the view of an outlet on the wall, climb higher, lay on the floor – there is nothing I won’t do to get the frame I want. I am absolutely controlling in my work, more so than I see in other mediums of art, but I find it as a personality trait common among many photographers. That’s just my personal observation, though it’s a topic I like to openly discuss with other artists as perspective.

As I sit and write this, I contemplate telling stories of recent photoshoots and the lessons I’m learning along the way, but I fear I’m not in the right space to really elaborate without some frustration so I’ll wait until the words find me and leak.

“There is an aggression implicit in every use of the camera.” – On Photography, Susan Sontag.

(This week’s blog photograph is part of a project I am working on in colaboration to showcase the artists that live within my building. This particular photograph probably won’t be used, but it’s my recent favorite.)



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